Immature love says: “I love you because I need you.”
Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.”
-Erich Fromm

Researchers have, repeatedly, proven that unhappy and/ or hostile marriages are a risk factor for several health issues in the partners and has adverse effects on kids as well.

Unhappy marriages means repeated marital conflicts and these have been proven to decrease specific pro-inflammatory proteins needed for all kinds of healing. Long term changes in levels of these proteins, such as from constant marital conflict, have been shown to be linked to an increased risk of a heart disease, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and depression. And if this was not enough people in unhealthy/ hostile marriages are known to also suffer delayed would healing.

Unhappy Marriage and Health are Directly Proportional. Being in an unhealthy +/ – hostile marriage increases stress levels and again increase risk of stress related health issues viz. type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, infertility, loss of libido, hyperacidity, hair fall, exacerbation of asthma etc.

But it is not all bad news; various studies have also shown that happily married people live longer than their happy single counterparts.

Steps to ensure yours is a happy married life?

• Never ignore/ neglect your spouse. Attention is the most important variable required from one’s spouse. One should be always ready to help and support each other in time of their needs. Neglecting the spouse is beginning of cracks developing in a relationship.
• Always be positive. Every issue, every conflict can be resolved
• Do not criticize or talk ill of your spouse, especially in front of others/ kids. Always admire good qualities of your spouse.
• Appreciate the work done by your spouse; A small thank you really works wonders.
• Show your affection.
• Be honest with your spouse. Trust is the foundation of a happy marriage.
• Do not compare your spouse with others. Nobody is 100% perfect.
• Silence pays. If one of you is not in a good mood and is argumentative; the other needs to be quiet for the time being.
• Forget and forgive. Forget the mistakes made by the spouse and do not harp on them. Some day you may need the same favour
• Spend quality time together
• Always understand your partner’s needs, especially when it comes to sex!

Dr Suman Rao, an MBBS, 20 years of practice in family medicine, has won awards for presenting papers on cases and over 5 years of training claims accessors on cases.